Manisha Snoyer sits down with renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld to dissect the complexities of parenting in today's world. They delve into the challenges and nuances of modern parenting, discussing everything from the rise of peer-oriented culture to the role of emotional connections in a child's upbringing. Dr. Neufeld critically examines the prevailing norms around social skills and emotional teaching, arguing for a more intuitive, connection-based approach. His insights on parental power—rooted not in manipulation but in genuine emotional bonds—offer a fresh perspective. With discussions on everything from conflict and emotional maturity to the importance of nurturing natural developmental processes, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom for parents, educators, and anyone interested in child psychology. Dr. Gordon Neufeld is an eminent clinical psychologist and authority on child development, revered for over four decades of groundbreaking work. He holds graduate degrees from the University of B.C., earning distinguished awards like the Governor General’s Medal and the BC Psychologists Award. A best-selling author, Dr. Neufeld penned the seminal book "Hold On to Your Kids," translated into over 15 languages. His expertise extends to forensic psychology, focusing on violent young offenders. An innovator in parent consulting, he founded the Neufeld Institute, a global educational platform offering courses in seven languages. Known for his contributions to attachment-based developmental approaches, Dr. Neufeld has spoken worldwide, from the United Nations to the European Parliament, delivering insights into parenting, aggression, and child development. A father of five and a grandfather of seven, his life’s mission is to empower adults to create conditions where children can flourish.
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Time Codes
00:00:00 — Introduction: Manisha Snoyer discusses individualized education and social-emotional learning.
00:00:33 — Manisha introduces Dr. Gordon Neufeld, shedding light on his expertise.
00:01:23 — The rise of peer culture is examined.
00:04:57 — Are social skills developed by peer grouping? Manisha seeks Dr. Neufeld's input.
00:07:00 — Dr. Neufeld dissects the role of conflict in development.
00:09:01 — Emotional skills in children: Dr. Neufeld talks about the role of mixed feelings.
00:12:42 — Terminology matters: The word "skills" is put under the microscope
00:15:20 — The importance of parental confidence and love is highlighted.
00:18:03] — Dr. Neufeld introduces 'cascading care'.
00:21:23 — Real-life parenting struggles: Manisha shares anecdotes.
00:26:00 — Dr. Neufeld expresses his concern about homeschooling.
00:29:54 — Power vs. Coercion: A nuanced discussion unfolds.
00:35:00 — Dr. Neufeld argues against sculpting children.
00:41:13 — Manisha debunks the myth that bullying strengthens children.
00:50:31 — Cultivating relationships: Dr. Neufeld and Manisha Snoyer agree that it's never too late or too early.
This podcast is made possible through a generous grant from the Vela Education Fund
VELA Education Fund is catalyzing a vibrant alternative education ecosystem. VELA provides trust-based funding to entrepreneurs, fosters community-building and knowledge-sharing, and increases visibility through storytelling that promotes cultural awareness and acceptance of the out-of-system space. Today, VELA serves the largest community of out-of-system education entrepreneurs in the country, with over 2,000 community members. About half of VELA’s community members operate small learning environments, and the other half are ecosystem and community builders offering direct services and support across the out-of-system space. Learn more at
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